Tuesday, 26 December 2017

8 Rabiul Akhir

26 Dec 2017 / 8 Rabiul Akhir 1439H

Today is my Hijri birthday.
8 Rabiul Akhir.
A date I often forget.
I suddenly had the urge to check
and it turns out to be today.
Alhamdulillah, I’ve turned 27 according to the Islamic calender
But I’m in denial still
As I just turned 26 two months ago.
Feel old yet? Maybe.

Honestly I do not know what I did for myself so far
What have I achieved
What are my future plans
I’m more of the “just follow the flow” kid
But subhanallah,
the “flow” that I followed so far has always been a breeze
With a tinge of life’s little challenges here and there
I think there has never been a moment when I’m in total despair, yet.

But I know myself very well
I feel like I don’t deserve all these
Deep inside, it’s so dark
I keep struggling to keep myself on track
I always feel that I’m not good enough
Yet I am still able to wake up everyday, and breathe.
:’(

{So which of the favours of your Lord would you deny?}

Hamba lemah ya Allah.
I miss some part of me that is now gone.
Keep me steadfast in this journey towards your jannah.
Keep my heart, mind, and soul clean.
Keep me safe, always.
Bring me back to Haramain, 
because I yearn to kneel and ask for forgiveness before your Kaabah.

“...and a clean heart is what I’m longing for.” 
😔

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